New Zealand has been on my mind for quite some time now. I found out about their working holiday visa program several years ago, and it’s been calling to me ever since.

As a kid, I had recurring daydreams where I envisioned myself bouncing around the world, living in a new country every year. I had no doubt that this is what I would do (once I got through the pesky business of growing up). As I grew older, I discovered, much to my dismay, that this was easier said than done.

It turns out most countries won’t let you just waltz in to stay and live and work for an extended period of time. Also, (reality check) it turns out it’s harder to become independently wealthy than my youthful self realized. My University degree in History wasn’t going to open a lot of doors for me in the world of international business. I was stuck working my way through college with nothing to look forward to after graduation but a terrible job market and few prospects. Still, I did what I could with my limited resources.

I was determined to study abroad in college. This was, as far as I could tell, my best chance to experience life in another country beyond the limits of a two-week vacation. And hey, what are student loans for, right? I spent three months in Valencia, Spain and it was a transformative experience. Immersing myself in a foreign city was the most thrilling and rewarding thing I had ever done. My life was now split into two distinct parts: “Before Spain” and “After Spain.” Guess which part was better…

Rather than quenching my wanderlust, studying abroad only fueled it further. The reality of travel was more complex and less idyllic than my childish daydreams, but also more breathtaking than anything I could ever have imagined.

When I heard about the working holiday visa in New Zealand, I felt the first real stirrings of hope that my dreams might still have a chance of becoming a reality. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that all the reasons why I couldn’t or shouldn’t go were outweighed by the many reasons why I could and should. I am young and lucky enough to have very few “real” obligations holding me back. And the “working” part of the working holiday meant that I didn’t need to amass a fortune to do it since I would have actual income while traveling (sweet, am I right?)

How could I resist? I decided to take the plunge and go for it.

The scariest part for me was quitting my job; the thought of being unemployed fills me with the kind of cold horror that most people reserve for clowns and in-laws. But I realized the regret I would feel if I passed up this opportunity far outweighed the little bit of fear and uncertainty I was feeling about doing this. The worst case scenario would be to not find a job in New Zealand quickly enough and run out of savings. In which case, I would return home (from a once-in-a-lifetime trip) knowing that I did everything I could to go after what I’ve always wanted.

Risk and reward… Can you really have one without the other?

Maybe I’m crazy for dropping my job, family, friends, life… to fly off to the other side of the world… by myself! Only time will tell. And I’m okay with that. I see this as a chance to take control of my life and write my own story; the next chapter of which is as much a mystery to me as anyone else.

I, for one, can’t wait to see how it ends.